Jen Masterson - TEC ''IF'' Song

From the video archive of past children's TV shows, I present this on-air rebroadcasting of a classic moment: our dear friend Jennie (from "THE HYDRO POWER CONCERN") doing her beautiful rendition of The "IF" Song!

PSYCH! I'm just kidding you.... this is actually our friend, 6TEEN's Jen Masterson, roleplaying as Judy Graubart (from "THE ELECTRIC COMPANY", PBS, 1971-77, reruns 1977-85), as adult character Winnie (as opposed to, say, Jennifer of "Jennifer of the Jungle"!) singing The "IF" Song.

Truth be told, TEC showed two versions of this song, one was an animated short done by the direction of Paul Fierlinger and the other one was a chroma key live-action version. I think you can tell which version I've emulated....

Of course, for this to work, the song had to be slightly changed....

[Fade up to close medium-shot of Jen, in her hands the letters IF attached onto a small narrow stand. As the music starts we see her slightly brushing the side of the F with her fingers, before she's just ready to sing...
[While she's singing, like Judy Graubart did in the original sketch, she will gently pass the IF either from hand to hand or hold it before her, as she will also hand-gesture similarly as did Judy Graubart...
[One further note: all the characters are chroma-keyed onto a coloured background.

IF---you're so terrific,
IF--I'm gonna be specific,
IF is a kind of special word, IF is a word that helps me dream
When IF I imagine lots of things, no matter how strange those things may seem...

[Soon wrapping her arm around the IF, the chroma-key Jen zooms out until we see all of her from her head down to her heeled boots, then other characters start to appear, instance-by-instance....

For instance...

[Coach Halder starts to appear to her left...

IF our bosses were our employees...
[Coach Halder suddenly seems shorter than left...
[Jen starts acting how Coach always acts towards her at work...
Hey, get back to work, Coach!
[The shorter Coach turns glum and walks away screen right... then Jen chuckles!

[The chroma-key Jen moves screen right before Jude starts to appear over her right shoulder...

IF Jude, without a board, could fly...

[Jude jumps up off his skateboard such that he ends up looking horizontally, like he's actually lying on his stomach, as he flies past her...
Whoa...!
[... and out of the scene!

[The chroma-key Jen moves screen left, and closer to the camera, before Wyatt starts to appear off to her left...

IF Wyatt could sing country...

[Wyatt suddenly feels a cowboy hat pop onto his head and his guitar in front of him, and he starts playing---picking and twanging, actually!---and singing yokel-style!
Yeah! Now that wasn't so bad, was it?
[He starts playing and singing, turns his head to Jen and smiles.... both she and he do a hi-five, even though he's actually not physically there with her.... ah, the wonders of using chroma-key.... after which he quickly disappears!

[The chroma-key Jen zooms back out and moves screen down, as....

IF water made you dry...

[Various scenes flash by over her head, showing her or any of number of her 6TEEN bros and bras getting wet from either falling into the Mall fountain, diving into it, or getting sprayed by any amount of water----each one played into reverse sequence!
Whoa... yeah, I'd love to see that...!
[The last of these scenes disappears as it passes by.

[The chroma-key Jen zooms in a bit and moves screen right, before Caitlin, laden with shopping bags, starts to appear off to her right...

IF Caitlin could run backwards...

[Caitlin, laden with shopping bags, is seen running backwards in slow-motion, ending up behind Jen....
Whoa, there she goes....!
[... and out of the scene!

[The chroma-key Jen now moves screen left, before Nikki and Jonesy together appear to her left...

IF Nikki were ten feet tall...!

[The chroma-key Nikki starts growing taller---actually she is being zoomed in such that it looks like she's growing taller---and Jonesy soon can't help but act startled as he watches her grow....
Wow.... that oughta show him, Nik!
[... until, once she ends up "taller" than him, she places her hands on her hips and looks down gleeful at the now "shorter" Jonesy!

[No change, as the chroma-key Jen, still clutching her IF, continues to sing...

IF there were no such word as IF...

[...until they slowly disappear, and the chroma-key Jen zooms in, back to her position at the start of the song, holding back up the IF as she did before...

... I'd have no fun at all.

[The once-more close medium-shot of Jen, in her hands the letters IF attached onto a small narrow stand... she gets in one more slight brushing the side of the F with her fingers, and now holding the IF to her right, before resuming her song...

IF---you're so terrific,
IF--I'm gonna be specific,
IF is a kind of special word, IF is a word that helps me dream
When IF I imagine lots of things, no matter how strange those things may seem...

[Then, a little more enthusiastically....
IF---you make a difference,
I'm a lucky stiff
To have a magnificent IF.

[At the finale, she turns herself at the waist to her left, holds the IF at "less-than-half-arm's-length" from her, the other hand on her hip, and on the last two beats of the song, she, like Judy Graubart, says: "Not bad!"
[Then, unlike Judy Graubart, Jen throws in an affectionate giggle.

ORIGINAL (Judy Graubart): [link] [circa 1972 or 1973]
ORIGINAL EPISODE ___ [_/__/197_], REPEATED in EPISODE 79B [2/03/1977].

6TEEN, Jen Masterson © Fresh Animation (nka FreshTV) Inc & NELVANA Ltd.
"THE ELECTRIC COMPANY" ©1971-77 Children's Television Workshop (nka Sesame Workshop)
"IF Song" original words and music by Joe Raposo. Edited lyrics by DAA.